And so Mohammad Sultan
Brenhines Corotica
Sovereigns of this Eastern span
Love to homage and hurrah
Brenhines Corotica
Sovereigns of this Eastern span
Love to homage and hurrah
Mairi Crawford’s time’s today
Accept praise for clout she shows
Skilled repertoire of swordplay
Has fame against far flung foes
A joy to face on the field
And now The Silver Rapier
Awards for Mairi to wield
Honor to add to her here
At Rusted Woodlands shire
On the 19th November
AS LVII We are
Pleased to praise this fine Fencer
Word Count 77
KEY
ABAB Rhyme scheme
Internal rhymes in line 3 & 4Alliteration
Alliteration together in line 4
A And so Mohammad Sultan
B Brenhines Corotica
A Sovereigns of this Eastern span
B Love to homage and hurrah
A Mairi Crawford’s time’s today
B Accept praise for clout she shows
A Skilled repertoire of swordplay
B Has fame against far flung foes
A A joy to face on the field
B Right now The Silver Rapier
A award's for Mairi to wield
B honor to add to her here
A At Rusted Woodlands shire
B On the 19th November
A AS LVII We are
B Pleased to praise this fine Fencer
"Come in!" exclaimed the Ghost. "Come in, and BLOG me better, man."
Half an hour after beginning to research this scroll, I posted this to Facebook:
With all of that I settled on this structure:
7 syllables
ABAB Rhyme scheme
Internal rhymes in line 3&4
Alliteration
Alliteration together in line 4
I broke down the recommendation into some key subjects, and set to work. A complex poetic form is so much fun to write - even if on occasion it can involve cursing long ago authors in a different language. Fitting English into these other languages is a challenge I love.
A And so Mohammad Sultan
B Brenhines Corotica
I could fit no alliteration into this line as Her Majesty's name and preferred title fit the syllable count exactly. This is a case of the requirements of a scroll superseding the requirements of the poetry.
A Sovereigns of this Eastern span
B Love to homage and hurrah
The 4th line final two words of the sentence are supposed to be alliterative. I tried several times to write this without the use of the conjunction but could not figure out a way. So I employed a literary device of ignoring that it’s there and treating homage and hurrah as the final alliterations on the line. There could even be an argument made that all three words do alliterate depending on how one prononces the H. Either way it made for a nice transition into the next verse.
A Mairi Crawford’s time’s today
B Accept praise for clout she shows
Had I an extra syllable to play with here, I would have written “To accept praise” or “Accepting praise” just to keep the flow of the line. A good herald should be able to read it correctly.
A Skilled repertoire of swordplay
B Has fame against far flung foes
Repertoire/far is a bit of a stretch and the rhyme will depend on the herald's reading. It is an interior rhyme though and if it isn’t stressed, I don’t think the reading will be lessened.
The last line of this verse especially pleases me. I managed 4 alliterative words in a 6 word sentence. The write up emphasized how proud they were to perceive the recipient as a threat on the fencing field. I was glad to work that into the body of the scroll.
A A joy to face on the field
B Right now The Silver Rapier
A Award's for Mairi to wield
B Honor to add to her here
A At Rusted Woodlands shire
B On the 19th November
A AS LVII We are
B Pleased to praise this fine Fencer
I am proud that I managed to fit all the final bits of information into the rhyme and meter.The alliteration for the first two lines is missing, alas, but I managed to allierate with two letters in the last line!
Of the three scrolls that I have going out at 100 Minutes War, I think that this one was my favorite to write, and I had good experiences with all three! While this one was a new verse form, it was so similar to Norse and Old Irish poetry and I had done so much of the research just a few months prior that it was all in the, shall we say, current storage in my brain.
“Working on poetry that ostensibly is in my own persona. Man it's complex. But wait, I'm complex! Maybe I picked a good persona after all!”
Old Irish Poetry is as complex as Norse Poetry and so much fun!
The recipient of this scroll was of a later period than the Old Irish Pelican I had written for this past Barleycorn in September, so I needed a bit more research. Thankfully most of the sources I had used for that scroll - Irish Syllabic Poetry and Three Most Common Bardic Meters - included information on their later period counterparts. I also checked The Poetry Collective and Brian Ó Ruairc, mo rogha leannán.
Old Irish Poetry is as complex as Norse Poetry and so much fun!
The recipient of this scroll was of a later period than the Old Irish Pelican I had written for this past Barleycorn in September, so I needed a bit more research. Thankfully most of the sources I had used for that scroll - Irish Syllabic Poetry and Three Most Common Bardic Meters - included information on their later period counterparts. I also checked The Poetry Collective and Brian Ó Ruairc, mo rogha leannán.
With all of that I settled on this structure:
7 syllables
ABAB Rhyme scheme
Internal rhymes in line 3&4
Alliteration
Alliteration together in line 4
I broke down the recommendation into some key subjects, and set to work. A complex poetic form is so much fun to write - even if on occasion it can involve cursing long ago authors in a different language. Fitting English into these other languages is a challenge I love.
A And so Mohammad Sultan
B Brenhines Corotica
I could fit no alliteration into this line as Her Majesty's name and preferred title fit the syllable count exactly. This is a case of the requirements of a scroll superseding the requirements of the poetry.
A Sovereigns of this Eastern span
B Love to homage and hurrah
The 4th line final two words of the sentence are supposed to be alliterative. I tried several times to write this without the use of the conjunction but could not figure out a way. So I employed a literary device of ignoring that it’s there and treating homage and hurrah as the final alliterations on the line. There could even be an argument made that all three words do alliterate depending on how one prononces the H. Either way it made for a nice transition into the next verse.
A Mairi Crawford’s time’s today
B Accept praise for clout she shows
Had I an extra syllable to play with here, I would have written “To accept praise” or “Accepting praise” just to keep the flow of the line. A good herald should be able to read it correctly.
A Skilled repertoire of swordplay
B Has fame against far flung foes
Repertoire/far is a bit of a stretch and the rhyme will depend on the herald's reading. It is an interior rhyme though and if it isn’t stressed, I don’t think the reading will be lessened.
The last line of this verse especially pleases me. I managed 4 alliterative words in a 6 word sentence. The write up emphasized how proud they were to perceive the recipient as a threat on the fencing field. I was glad to work that into the body of the scroll.
A A joy to face on the field
B Right now The Silver Rapier
A Award's for Mairi to wield
B Honor to add to her here
This verse is one that most solidly fits the rhyme and meter of the Deibhidhe Quatrain. The end rhymes are all full hit rhymes and the interior rhyme is solid. The alliteration of the 4th line is a little rough as I am counting Award and Wield as the alliteration.
A At Rusted Woodlands shire
B On the 19th November
A AS LVII We are
B Pleased to praise this fine Fencer
I am proud that I managed to fit all the final bits of information into the rhyme and meter.The alliteration for the first two lines is missing, alas, but I managed to allierate with two letters in the last line!
Of the three scrolls that I have going out at 100 Minutes War, I think that this one was my favorite to write, and I had good experiences with all three! While this one was a new verse form, it was so similar to Norse and Old Irish poetry and I had done so much of the research just a few months prior that it was all in the, shall we say, current storage in my brain.
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