My Original inspiration for the boast was a Filk of Carol of the Bells that the recipient’s Bardic Group sang as their theme song.
Hell’s Belles Theme
Lyrics by Hell’s Belles, the East Kingdom’s Worst Bardic Group
We are Hell’s Belles, pretty young Belles
We thought you’d say, please go away
Yet you’re still here, showing no fear
Boldly we go, on with the show
We’ll do our best, please don’t protest
Wenches are we, never on key
Gaily we sing
‘Bout anything
Give us a song
We’ll sing it wrong
Very very very very off key
Very very very very off key
Imbriana and Fiona
Jenna Aoife - yippee yeehaw!
Four singing girls worst in known world
Listeners take heed, your ears may bleed
We know our song, is way too long
Even our friends, wish it would end
Song lyrics dirty
Sassy and flirty
Such a big hit
Check out our tits
Very very very very off key
Very very very very off key
Very very very very off key
We... Are... Hell’s... Belles
I had a feverish night of composition and came up with the Filk of their Filk:
Hell’s Belles Theme
Lyrics by Hell’s Belles, the East Kingdom’s Worst Bardic Group
This is not the Hells Bells Theme Song.
Tis but a Tribute
We are Hell’s Belles, pretty young Belles
Now we will dwell, on this Hells Bell
We thought you’d say, please go away
So much to say, everyone please stay
Yet you’re still here, showing no fear
Good you're all here, showing no fear
Boldly we go, on with the show
We’ll do our best, please don’t protest
We see her best, There's no protest
Wenches are we, never on key
Fiona [Fee-onna] see! You're Lau-ra-ley
Gaily we sing
Praises will ring.
‘Bout anything
Laud everything
Give us a song
And done in song
We’ll sing it wrong
Prolly sung wrong
Very very very very off key
Very very very very off key
Imbriana and Fiona
Fiona the Volatile
Jenna Aoife - yippee yeehaw!
Will receive without guile
Four singing girls worst in known world
This singing girl mastered more things
Listeners take heed, your ears may bleed
We know our song, is way too long
Even our friends, wish it would end
Song lyrics dirty
Sassy and flirty
Such a big hit
Check out our tits
Very very very very off key
Very very very very off key
Very very very very off key
We... Are... Hell’s... Belles
--------------------------------------------------
This is not the Hells Bells Theme Song.
Tis but a Tribute
Now we will dwell, on this Hells Bell
So much to say, please say you’ll stay
Good you're all here, showing no fear
Boldly we go, on with the show
We see her best, There's no protest
Fiona [Fee-onna] see! You're Lau-ra-ley
Praises will ring.
Laud everything
And done in song
Prolly sung wrong
Very very very very off key
Very very very very off key
FINAL COUPLET GOES HERE
Something witty
RECORD SCRATCH
Violet didn’t like that idea and after her own feverish night of composition, she came up with this:
Violet’s original:
Here comes Fiona! Please raise your cups!
–Look at person I’m next to
Do you have some mead? Have you had HER mead?
Drink to this fine lady, the bearer of Silver crescent, silver brooch, golden lyre, AND a maunche.
–look at person across the room
Don’t drink mead? That’s ok, she makes non-alcoholic libations as well.
Creator of beautiful illumination, herder of Ducks, filks to make you laugh and groan.
–looks at TRH
done with your drink? She’s got more.
More catchphrases than you can beat a dead horse with.
And Oh! The huge manatee!
I present to you, the ORIGINAL Fiona the Volatile.
Felicitations all!
Felicitations appears to be a post period (1700s) version of the late period (1600s) word felicitate. While I was in no way keeping specifically to period words for this boast, I did look some of them up in the process of composing. Alliterations and funny definitely outweighed strictly period vocabulary here.
Now comes forth Fiona!
Please prepare your cups!
I think it was changing “Please raise your cups” to “Please Prepare your cups” that started the alliteration in my brain. It wasn’t until another pass that I changed the opening line to felicitations
Look at person I’m next to
Do you have mead? Have you had HER mead?
From the original I broke down each subject that the recipient was being praised for and made it its own alliterative introduction.
Drink to this Loquacious Lady, the Proprietor of these Plaudits: Silver Crescent, Silver Brooch, Golden Lyre, AND Maunche.
While the recipient does have other Baronial awards, tor this boast only the Kingdom Awards were listed.
Look at person across the room
Don’t drink mead? That’s alright, she makes Libations without spirits most Liberally!
This wordsmith is grateful for each and every one of of the many vocabulary references to varied drinkables!
Looks at another person in other direction
Did you know? She's a Maven of Magnificent Manuscripts, Director of Doading Ducks, Fictionist of Filks so Fun they make one Fret and Flail
This section that briefly touches on the recipient's other interests in the SCA proved to take the longest! She is one of the current Baronesses with the Baronial Arms including a duck. Ducks are a theme and I spent quite a bit of time looking dor alliterative D words.
A Group of Ducks is Called a Herd...Right? 15+ Words For A Group of Ducks
Which gave me the phrase, “dissimulation of birds.”
“doading, dopping - group of Shelducks”
These were all unverifiable,very questionable sources. But, for the sake of silly alliterations, I absolutely ducking included them. Sometimes the amount of time we include on the choice of one word in the entire piece is both ridiculous and wonderful.
Looks at TRM
Done with your drink? She'll make more!
She has more mottos than you can dispatch a dead donkey with.
Beating a Dead Horse, is a common idiom since the 1800s. There wasn’t much more research into that besides a quick wikipedia search to satisfy my curiosity. Relevant to me though was the donkey alliteration. The recipient and I together made the Great and Terrible Butt scroll. For which there was a donkey on it. It was a subtle reference and only happened through the alliteration search, but I am glad it was there.
Oh! The huge manatee!
This is a direct reference to the recipient’s wonderful registered Arms:
I present to you: the one, the only, the ORIGINAL Fiona the Volatile.
This is a reference to the game Red Dragon Inn and the character the recipient inspired.
Between the original filk idea to the final end product that was presented at court there is actually quite a lot of work that went into it. Working together makes the final all the better for the recipient.
Scribe’s Blog Violet Tendencies - Fiona the Volatile Peerage boast
