It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Barons of Iron Bog tonight
It's time to meet Baron André
And then Baroness Genevra
It's time for them to give out the Sable Compass tonight
Why do we always come here
Pennsic heat’s the worst, We know!
This year it’s been a scorcher
But we gotta stay for court,
He does the field siege weapons
He's MADE those field siege weapons!
He does combat archery, building catapults, Takes the field at war, Montgomery-ational!
This is what we call Montgomery Josh's Award!
Word count 99
Illumination and Calligraphy by Katherine Barr
This Iron Bog Baronial scroll for The Order of the Sable Gauntlet went out this past Pennsic. The Scribe asked me to write it the day after the recipient had posted that they were watching the Muppet Movie. With that, how could I possibly resist such a filk?
There are many versions of the The Muppet Show Theme. I chose the Season Five theme song, as it had Statler and Waldorf sing their commentary:
Kermit:
It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star…
(name of celebrity on episode)!
Female Chorus:
It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight
Male Chorus:
It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight
Statler & Waldorf:
Why do we always come here?
I guess we'll never know
It's like a kind of torture
To have to watch the show
The Muppets:
But now let's get things started
Audience
Why don't you get things started?
Kermit:
It's time to get things started
ALL:
On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational
This is what we call The Muppet Show!
Since I personally know the recipient and their partner was the scribe I was perfectly comfortable with this filk as a scroll. While the words are rather generic in regards to the award the subject and the descriptions make it personal, and hopefully be received with love.
It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
I chose to start from the chorus, skipping Kermit’s Season Five introduction. This served to ground the listener fully in what the scroll and filk is.
Keeping these lines original grounds the audience.
It's time to meet the Barons of Iron Bog tonight
“It's time to meet the Muppets/On The Muppet Show tonight”
Muppets got changed to Barons. While they don’t rhyme by any stretch of the imagination, they both match in syllable count and intonation.
“Of Iron Bog tonight” has one less syllable than “On the Muppet Show tonight.” But because the words flow similarity and the verse ends on the same word as the original it sounds correct to the listener.
It's time to meet Baron André
The second verse starts the same as the first and I copied that.
“It's time to put on makeup” once again I am squeezing an extra syllable into the line. “To meet” when speaking or singing is easily shortened to something like “t’meet” and preserve the sound being parodied.
And then Baroness Genevra
And with introducing the Baroness, I had to drop the “It’s time to” phrase from the original piece. But with a deviating line sandwiched between the lines that adhered to the original, it was able to work and keep the flow of the filk moving.
It's time for them to give out/
Here in the bottom part of the line sandwich it was important to keep the first few words and syllable count exact. While also furthering along the story the scroll is taking, that of Their Excellencies giving an award to the recipient,
/the Sable Gauntlet tonight
This had the same syllable count and endword as the original: “On The Muppet Show tonight”
Being able to incorporate the standard pieces of information into the original makes the filk work so well.
Why do we always come here
The bridge of the opening in this season was Statler and Waldorf and included scathing commentary about the Muppet Show itself. By using the first sentence of the bridge verbatim, it grounds the audience in what they are hearing,
Pennsic heat’s the worst, We know!
I felt turning the heated commentary of the two Muppets towards the Pennsic heat was certainly a safe way to play it. This gave the location of the award, fulfilling that requirement and grounds the audience to the song. Those who have gone to Pennsic, who are even at the event while receiving the award, definitely know of the heat being spoken about here!
This year it’s been a scorcher
The original: “It's like a kind of torture”
When one can’t use any of the words in the body of the sentence working it backwards from the rhyme of the original is the way used here.
But we gotta stay for court,
This was from the perspective of the Baron and Baroness, and the thought that they were reluctant to stay for court is what made it more humorous to me. As if the ones hosting court didn’t want to be there. Which is in line with the characters of Statler and Waldorf.
He does the field siege weapons
The last section of the Muppet Show theme song is a little bit of back and forth between the audience and the chores that leads to the final announcement. Still using it in the context of the Baronetcy talking to each other the last few lines continued.
He's MADE those field siege weapons!
Though these may seem like statements arguing with each other, they aren’t. But are still telling the audience what the recipient has done to earn the award,
He does combat archery, building catapults, Takes the field at war, Montgomery-ational!
For the rousing conclusion, I took the second to last line of the theme song and plugged in the recipient’s credits, matching syllables and combinations to the final “Montgomery-ational”
That was a bit of fun putting it all together!
This is what we call Montgomery Josh's Award!
At last the final announcement!
This was so much fun to write and it came together so easily. The Muppets are near and dear to my heart and it was wonderful to be able to share this with someone who would appreciate them as much as I do.
I love writing for baronial awards.
Absolutely Muppet-ational!
I even found a Muppet sketch with a catapult!
